This made me chortle - it's a little rude though ...
The 11th Husband:
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband 1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."
"Husband 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me."
"Husband 3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."
"Husband 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."
"Husband 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state- of-the-art method."
"Husband 6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not."
"Husband 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it."
"Husband 8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it."
"Husband 9 was a gynaecologist; all he did was look."
"Husband 10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was............(?) God, I miss him!"
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"
"Wonderful," said the husband, "but, why?"
"You're with the Government.......This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed."
ROFL!
ReplyDeleteA little bird told me you collect stamps, you dirty mare!
LOL! I always know I've read something funny because, if I am drinking water/diet coke (all I drink) I will have to cover my mouth to avoid spitting as I laugh.
ReplyDelete...I read your post and had to clinch my lips to avoid doing that.
...and, then I read Minge's comment and I did spit my hot tea!
I needed to start the day with a laugh!
Thank you!!
May I call you the, uh, Stamp Collector????
Minge - I'm sorry, hen? Stamps??
ReplyDeleteMatty - Good stuff! The more laughter inducing a joke, the better. And spitting your drink out must have been a sight to see.
Okay, I'm being an airhead now...Is the joke that stamp collectors LICK things - is that what you naughty boys are driving at?? Tell me...I'm so dense...
Oh, Poor Baby -- I feel mean. Yes, we were just teasing that you might be gifted with the use of the organ that licks those stamps.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I just explained a sort of dirty joke.
It was all in good clean fun!
well, sort of...
Nice one! And as someone who works as a civil servant and therefore technically for the Government (oh the shame) I can vouch for the veracity of the punchline...!
ReplyDeleteMatty - aha!! I thought it was to do with licking. Just what are you boys insinuating??!
ReplyDeleteSteve - aha again! You have inside knowledge, as it were...