Get this party started ...

So ... the Xmas party is over and it's back to the wondrous world of work .... grrr!!

Yes, last Friday it was my work's Xmas do, which this year was held at the Science Museum in Kensington. And rather an impressive venue it is, too, with a massive ceiling and lots of giant-sized exhibits.

As for the party itself, it was an enjoyable affair though certain aspects were a bit rubbish. When I arrived, everyone was assembled in the main hall and lots of free champagne was being drunk, which was rather a good start to the evening. As soon as your glass ran dry, an ever-efficient waiter would materialise at your elbow and refill your glass. Patsy and Edina would have loved it. Everyone looked very smart and chic and the ladies all looked fabulous in their choice of party attire. I must say women do have far more options when it comes to dressing up; with guys the choice only really extends to suit, or smart trousers and shirt, in a variety of colours ... not that exciting. Of course I could have come in my best frock but it was at the dry cleaners ... Anyway I do think I look rather nice in my pink and blue shirt and pinky tie (that's me above, along with some of my workmates).

After the champers we proceeded to the dining area for the Xmas meal itself. This was where things got a bit cr*p as the service was appallingly slow and the food took ages to arrive. We had salmon as the starter, followed by chicken and roast veg for the main and a chocolate mousse-tart thing for desert. All of which was very tasty but the servings were not exactly generous in size. Having said all that, there were literally hundreds of people from my company at the party, so I guess it takes time to cater for such large numbers. Nevertheless I've had better Xmas meals ... goodness, aren't I being a whinging ninny!

However to compensate for the culinary disappointment, I was in great company at the table and engaged in lots of banter and chat. I sat with one of my best mates Debbie, some of her lady pals from Marketing and also some wee lasses from the Glasgow office. So I was basically the honorary girl, something I've never had a problem with in the past. One of the highlights was when our company Director General, doing his "socialise with the plebs" bit, came to sit with us, and having no awareness of my sexual proclivities, told me how lucky I was to be sitting at a table full of women. I couldn't resist leaning over to the person sitting next to me and whispering "Little does he know". At one point we were temporarily joined by two guys from the Customer Relations dept who looked as though they might be on the pull, however they soon buggered off somewhere else. Shortly after that, the main courses arrived, and thinking the guys weren't returning (and also because our portions were so small) we scoffed their food. Unfortunately they then came back. So we quickly made up an excuse that the waiter hadn't brought them a main course and managed to get them a substitute... oooh weren't we naughty!

After din dins, the disco finally got started, which was also a bit cack. Firstly cos the music didn't get going until nearly 10.30 and the party was due to stop at 12.30. Second, the actual room we had for dancing was pretty miniscule - trying to squeeze hundreds of people into the spacial equivalent of a shoebox was kind of difficult. However me and my pals found a fairly decent "spot" next to the DJ booth which at least permitted some breathing space. The music was the usual rather cliched mix of stuff like "We Are Family" and other naff party music, the nadir probably being Shakin' Stevens "Merry Xmas Everyone". Still an Xmas party just ain't right without sing-a-long Xmas tunes is it?

By this stage the mix of champagne, beer and wine I had consumed throughout the night was leaving me feeling a bit nauseous, so lightweight moi had to sit down and take a few deep breaths to recover. And shortly after that, the music stopped and the night was over. Fortunately I was saved the indignity of the night bus and was able to share a cab all the way home with a workmate - much more luxurious and safe.

The following day I had a slight headache and was feeling somewhat sluggish but otherwise fine.

And party gossip? Well, as you might have gathered there wasn't much. The people I expected to see making fools of themselves didn't really. There were no saucy shenanigans like people snogging on the dancefloor or performing lewd sexual acts with one another in toilet cubicles (well, I guess the latter might have occured, but then how would I have known about it? Besides which, George Michael was absent). And there were no punch-ups or Alexis and Krystle style cat-fights. No, it was just people making merry and getting drunk. Which is what a party should be all about really, shouldn't it?