Here is the news

Good evening, this is Moira Stewart reporting with the latest news.

Oh sh*t, I've been sacked. Must dash and find myself another job, pronto. Apparently TV AM are looking for someone to make the tea...perhaps there's an opening for me.

In that case, it's over to Ms Jan Leeming...

Listen darlings, I'm just a neurotic old celeb stuck in the jungle with a pole up my a*se, and I really don't have the inclination for all of this. So do push orf, okaaaay?

My jumper's rather fetching though, isn't it?

ENOUGH! I really don't know what came over me, venting such vitriol like that. I'm in a good mood today, honest...

ANYHOW. What be the news since my protracted absence? What's been going on in the outside world?

As you all might have gathered by now, I never have very much to say about politics or current affairs and rarely write on these topics. Perhaps because I am pretty cr*p at keeping apace of these kind of things and also, ahem, don't find them desperately exciting subjects to write about. Don't get me wrong - I do read the news and watch the TV from time to time in order to keep (reasonably) abreast of what's happening. But I tend to shy away from nastiness and depressing news. Practically every morning in the Metro there's a tale of a young boy who's been stabbed in a park or some couple who've been happily married for 30 odd years suddenly hacking each other to death, which is very off-putting. It's all a bit too much for sensitive old moi. I'm a typical Pisces really, far happier retreating into some safe fantasy world and dreaming my dreams. And I'd far rather write about fun and entertaining things on this blog like music, TV and movies. Oh dear. Is there no hope? Yep I'm probably an escapist at heart and a dreamer but that's me, folks! Besides, no-one has any massive objections, do they?

Altogether now: NO, WE DON'T!! I hope.

Anyway.

In the Real World:

The trial into the death of Diana continues, some 10 years on after the event.

I say: pah!

Royal Mail recently went on strike. The strikes ended today but more are scheduled for the whole of next week!

I say: Double pah!! (Especially when you're trying to buy a flat - more anon).

The search for Madeleine McCann continues after heaven knows how long.

I say: Treble PAH!!!

Incidentally, if you want the regular lowdown on the Diana and Madeleine stuff try Dan's blog. He usually puts up the latest newspaper headline/report from The Daily Express every day. Good on him. At least someone's got their finger on the pulse. Or on something at any rate.

There you go. I DID report on some current goings-on didn't I?

And in the Blogging world:

Timewarden has returned! He's back, back, BACK!! I somehow knew that he wouldn't be away from blogging for long and would soon succumb to the temptation to wax lyrical on further topics. And a bloody good thing too. Welcome back Tim!

Steve aka Bloggertropolis has just given birth to a beautiful, bouncing baby boy! (Wow. DIG the alliteration). Actually that's not strictly accurate. Steve wasn't artificially inseminated or anything. To be more precise, it's his wife Karen who has just popped the sprog. Anyway big CONGRATULATIONS to the both of them; it's brilliant news.

Matty and his partner Byron have moved into a fabulous new flat! In Oakland, San Francisco no less. It's a huge open space that wouldn't look out of place in "Flashdance". I can just see Matty donning a pair of leg-warmers and doing some hard-core moves to "Maniac". Sounds like the move was a bit stressful but so good that he's in his new pad now! (Boy, am I looking forward to my own forthcoming move....not!!)

Newplanet's blog has gone all spooky and scary to celebrate the fact that we're now in the month of Halloween. Check it out - loving the diabolical (in the horror sense that is) design! And plenty of Horror-themed posts. I think he should do one on his Top 10 fave Horror movies and we can all contribute.

Caress continues to write about his/her Top 25 Camp Films of all Time - great topic with, in fact, an unusual range of choices for inclusion in the list - so far anyway. (Although he/she hasn't written a recent post on this - so GET TO IT, Cassie darling!!)

Salty has been speculating about Michael Jackson in "X Factor"! Could it be true? Whoooosebaaaaad? Sha-mol!!

And so forth. Okay, I've left a few of my fellow bloggers off the roll for which I apologise. But it's taking me too long to list everyone...it's nowt personal, honest!

And the Dr Who world?

A story set in Rome was recently filmed! Set in Pompeii, just before Mount Vesuvius is due to erupt. Wooohooo! Sounds exciting. Will the ghost of Kenneth Williams make an appearance? "Oooooh Dr!! Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me..." (Sorry that was LAME).

The Sontarans are coming back in Season Four! With ex-"Young One" Christopher Ryan playing their leader. I wonder if Rik, Vivian and Neil will play his Sontaran troops? (LAME x 2)

Anyway I do hope they look better than they did in "Two Doctors" (above) - I'm sure the costume designers and visual effects team can come up with a good re-working of the old egg-headed foes...They'd bloody better do!!

And then there's been THIS rumour. Mmm. So what do we all think? My initial thought is, how the hell are they going to fit so many characters into (presumably) 2 x 50 minute episodes, and give them all decent airtime - not to say proper character development? It all seems a bit gimmicky...Let's keep in mind the fact that the Beeb haven't confirmed it yet though.

A Silurians/Sea Devils DVD boxset is scheduled for early next year - hoorah!! I love "The Sea Devils" and can't wait to see it again. And as much as I love him, it has kind of been Tom Baker overload with regard to the DVD release schedule this year...

And in the TV/ Comedy world:

The Life and Times of Vivienne Vyle started on BBC2 last week, a new comedy vehicle for Jennifer "Ab Fab" Saunders, with Ms S playing a daytime TV presenter and agony aunt, and Miranda Richardson as her manic producer. Suffice to say, it was a little bit disappointing, coming across as more drama than comedy-oriented. I found it more observational than funny, although I guess therein lay some (hidden) humour - the send-up of the daytime show was very accurate and wryly done, and for that reason, I quite liked it. There was also a good gag when the self-obsessed Vivienne, standing under a gigantic picture of herself in her living room, utters: "Oprah? I just don't have that sort of ego". We needed more of this! More crucially, Jennifer S's character was a pretty miserable mare and it was hard to warm to her - the picture of her above must be a fake, I swear she didn't crack a grin in the entire episode. As for Miranda R, she was stark raving bonkers in the wrong kind of way and annoying with it. Her accent flitted about all over the shop and the character was just tooo weird. Oh well, patient person that I am, I'm prepared to give it a couple more weeks before passing final judgement.

Perhaps by way of recompense we got The Peter Serafinowicz show straight after, which I'm pleased to report was much better and funnier. A sketch show in which Mr S played a variety of characters in very well-observed fashion, including some celebs such as Michael Caine and Chris Tarrant. His impersonation of the latter was frighteningly spot-on. Plus lots of surreal humour which is always welcome. He's a very clever and versatile chap.

And in the Music world?
Kylie M is all sent to unleash a new single and album. Yaaaay!! We've been very lucky, lucky, LUCKY! It's been a few years since her last Long Player, Body Language, so a newbie was on the cards. Of course she's had a few rather serious issues to deal with along the way, so we can't exactly begrudge her the break. The forthcoming new single is entitled "Two Hearts". Mmm. I wonder if the fact that Mistress Minogue is starring in the Dr Who Christmas special might have had any bearing on the title? Think about it...

The cover of the single is pretty wicked though. Kind of reminds me of the 1980 version of Flash Gordon, all lurid colours and make-up. Very sci-fi:

And here's the actual cover to the album (nicked from Dan):

Fabulous isn't it?

Of course any other musical "happenings" are totally meaningless and not even worth reporting on.

And finally what news from the world of the Cheeser?

Well, with regards to purchasing our new flat, we are STILL waiting for the solicitors to finish doing their stuff and I am trying to remain as patient as I can. As I said before, the postal strike certainly hasn't helped, what with all the bits of paper that I've had to to sign, being sent backwards and forwards in the mail, now arriving later than they were supposed to. Sometimes I wish I lived in Brazil. Gustavo says that there all you have to do is find a flat, get a bank to lend you the money and it's more or less done and dusted. None of this solicitor malarkey.

Anyway in preparation for the new pad I have already made some purchases of new furniture and flat accoutrements. Hooray! Nothing like advance planning eh? Including this seductive sofa, a vision in cream:

Better watch it with the red wine and vomit then...

And this beautitious bed:

Did you know it's a "Queen" size?

Absolutely no comments, pur-lease.

HOW exciting.

Oh, and one final piece of news, I have now been blogging for MORE THAN ONE YEAR!! So Happy Anniversary to moi.

Ta ta.