Back to the Hub

Erm, there's this new lip balm from Superdrug I've just purchased...

Do you like the taste? I don't fancy you or anything...

Torchwood returns to our TV screens tonight.

Are we all wetting our pants with excitement, then? (Talking of pants, check out one of Timewarden’s recent posts on Dr Who and pants! Very well-researched and true. I think I perhaps need to write my own post on pants-wearing males in DW, although there has sadly been a bit of a dearth in that direction. The only instances that spring to mind are Turlough in “Planet of Fire” and Mickey Smith in “Rise of the Cybermen”. Time to redress the balance?!)

Anyway. To T-T-T-Torchwood!

Old school bloggers might remember my previous reviews of Series One. Suffice to say I wasn’t massively impressed with the first series of the sci-fi / fantasy show – although there were some very watchable episodes, there were some equally cack ones too. One major problem for me was that the leading characters just weren’t interesting enough, or particularly likeable. (This is what I said back in December 2006:

“I've found "T-Wood" entertaing enough so far, but wouldn't rank it anywhere near as highly as "Dr Who". It's slick, fast-moving and exciting in places, but it just doesn't grab me enough. I think it lacks the fundamental warmth and humanity of Dr Who. It has a coldness at it's heart. After a number of weeks I'm still finding it hard to really engage with the characters. Even though we're now getting more of a focus on individuals in particular episodes, none of the team are all that likeable (in my view).”)

Ooer! I still feel the same really. Going back to my comments on the main protagonists, firstly in T-Wood, the merry-making Captain Jack seemed sapped of life in contrast to his persona in DW (admittedly this was because he’d discovered he was immortal, not the easiest of things to live with and really a bit of a curse, but still...) Owen was a bit of a wide-boy and sleazeball, Ianto did virtually nothing save functioning as a glorified doorman, Toshiko was rather dull and humourless (although things hotted up later when she showed some lesbian tendencies in one episode) and new member of the Hub, policewoman Gwen, started off kind and sympathetic, then rapidly lost our sympathies when she started shagging Toad-face Owen behind her boyfriend Rhys’ back, with little apparent compunction. How fortunate for her that when Rhys found out, he got slipped an “amnesia” drug that made him forget that gap-toothed Gwen had ever done the dirty on him. There was one interesting character called Susie, who started off as member of the Torchwood team, but it transpired that she was a traitor and she died in the first episode. Or did she? In a bizarre twist, she was “resurrected” in a later story, in order to help the team track down a killer, but this turned out to be a bad decision – though allowing for the return of an intriguingly flawed character. Shame we didn’t see more of Ms Susie.

There was also an abundance of gratuitous sex and violence on display in the programme, which often seemed shoved in (so to speak) in a very deliberate, self-conscious way. Lest you think that I’m being a hypocrite (having just expressed my desire to see more men in pants in DW) even I recognise that these things have their limits. It’s when things are in there for the sake of it, rather than being integral to the plot, that it can get tiresome. Or rather, some of the writers seem to have added in as much sex as they could in order to make the story “better”- a misguided move.

Having moaned on considerably (just for a change) I concede that the show did have some winning elements. As I said there were some interesting plotlines. The hub was a great set. The aliens, monsters and special effects usually looked good. My favourite episodes from Series One were probably:

“Small Worlds”. Written by P J Hammond of “Sapphire and Steel” fame – and there were a lot of similarities with the aforementioned sci-fi / fantasy series. This was a thoughtful, well-produced episode with a horrible, inevitable conclusion, even if what happened at the end did kind of render the Torchwood team's "problem solving" pointless in the long run. I’m really glad that Mr Hammond is writing for Series Two and here’s hoping that his story will be a highlight.

“Greeks Bearing Gifts”. In which Toshiko revealed she was a carpet eater (although surprisingly in such a graphic programme we saw little evidence apart from girl-on-girl snogging) and got it on with a vampiric alien called Mary, played by Tony's sister from Eastenders/the daughter from "My Family". As trashy at that sounds, it was actually quite a good story and also involved a pendant that enabled Tosh to read people's minds.

“They Keep Killing Susie”. Mentioned earlier. A good character piece with Susie as a rather more unusual "baddie".

“Out of Time”. Three people from 1953 fall through a rift in time and end up in present-day Cardiff. Good in the way it portrayed these characters trying to adjust and cope with modern day life and all the emotional/psychological difficulties involved. Author Catherine Tregenna is I think pretty talented and again writing for Series Two; a good sign.

“Captain Jack Harkness”. Another Cath Tregenna-penned episode in which Jack and Tosh are transported back in time to a music hall in 1941. Jack meets his alter ego, the real Captain Jack Harkness (played by the gorgeous Matt Rippy), whose identity Jack stole after his death. Great dance/love scene at the end of the episode in which the two Jacks kiss - done touchingly rather than tackily. Also involved an excellent and sinister character called Billis, played by Murray Melvin of “Taste of Honey” fame.

The season finale though was just plain silly - involving a King Kong style monster called Abaddon stomping all over Cardiff - so much so that I couldn’t even be a*sed to write a review of it. In fact I stopped writing after watching “Combat” which was equally crud and did Noel Clarke no favours (stick to acting instead of writing, Noel).

So what’s in store for us in Season Two? Well, Episode One, "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" (subtle title) sees the arrival of Captain John Hart for one (another Captain?!) played by James Marsters from "Buffy". That's him in the photos above, and if you want a sneak preview of what transpires between him and Jack, try here:

Well, for all my gripes about gratuitousness, that looks...interesting. I kind of like the correlation between the passion and the violence (with the metaphor of the flames behind them, if rather obvious) but WHAT'S the story (Jack's morning glory? Sorry, couldn't resist). Anyway I hope we get some decent explanation as to the relationship between these two.

As for the rest of Series Two, as many of you probably know, Martha Jones from DW is due to make crossover appearances in three episodes, before returning to DW in Season Four, mid season. Other guest stars set to appear include Richard Briers (perhaps to compliment Felicity Kendall's forthcoming appearance in DW?) and Alan Dale (aka Jim "Neighbours" Robinson, more recently to be seen in "Ugly Betty"). As for the stories, wait and see!

Anyway, let's give it a try eh? Series Two kicks off tonight on BBC2, 9pm.