The gang's all here...

Okay, I lied. I couldn't resist coming out of hibernation (temporarily at least...) to post this rather splendid pic of the ensemble cast from the forthcoming DW season finale, which kicks off this Saturday:

Great stuff eh?! (Click on the pic if you want to see a larger version). One can't help wondering what they're all looking so scared by. Is it RTD with his clothes off? Answers on a comment please.

From left to right, we have:

Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen); Mickey Smith (Noel Clarke); Jackie Tyler (Camille Coduri); Rose Tyler (Billie Piper); The Doctor (David Tennant); Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman), Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) and Donna Noble (Catherine Tate)! Woh! All of whom will be present in the last two episodes...and that's not including a few other returning personages, such as former Prime Minister Harriet Jones (who's rumoured to have something nasty happen to her - is this divine retribution for her blowing up the sycorax spaceship?), K9 (trusty metal mutt with a long back story and a long laser gun), Luke Smith (Sarah's adopted alien "son"), Gwen Cooper (gappy-toothed Torchwood member), Ianto ("comedy" doorman and Torchwood member)...and that doesn't include an old villain with a strong connection to the Daleks...

Which surely leaves us to ask - how the hell are they going to fit so many characters into two episodes? Mind you, it's been confirmed that the second episode is one hour and five minutes long, so gives us a little more time...There's already been a few trailers like this one and this one which all look very epic and dramatic.

I must admit I AM excited. I just hope they can carry it off and it's not a repeat of last year's Master-finale-fiasco. Crossed fingers!!

April Update

Hello!! Hello!! Hello!!

Saints Preserve us!!

The Cheeser is back, back, BACK!!

Well, for one of my less than regular posts, any road.

And how have we all been? I have been popping over to your respective blogs to keep an eye on things, as you might have gathered ... Trust all is hanging, as they say, well, with y'all.

As for me, all is generally okay. Firstly I'm pleased to say that I have started doing some writing, as I said I would be doing in my last post. It's slow but I'm dipping my oar in, as it were. Initial stages and plans all that and I'm keeping things under wraps for now. It has also been nice to just have some spare time back for meself to be honest.

What else do I have to report?

I've been to the gym a bit.

I've varnised the surfaces in my kitchen.

I've been relieved that at long last this bloody English weather is getting warmer (the weekend just gone was a glorious one, especially Saturday).

I've been to Hampton Court which was lurvely. Last time I went was over 20 years ago.

Life, as you can tell, is just TOO exciting.

And, moving on to the things that REALLY matter, what about Dr Who!?

I'm pleased to announce that I'm enjoying the new series rather a lot. Every story broadcast to date has been of a decent standard with no major clunkers as of yet. Although there have of course only been four episodes televised so far. My, aren't I ever the optimist. Still I can hardly believe the show is now into its Fourth Season! One again DW becomes a national institution ... and so it bloody should be! I hope it runs for another 20 years at least!

And contrary to all my previous moanings, Ms Catherine Tate has (in my view) more or less acquited herself as Donna Noble. Okay, I wouldn't class the character as a brilliant creation of writing and there have been some grating Donna-isms along the way, but in general she's been nowhere near as awful as I was feared. Rather Donna has managed to demonstrate ... thoughtfulness (gasp!) ... sensitivity (double gasp!) ... humour (triple gasp!) ... a grasp of thorny issues (quadrupal - okay let's stop this now). Etc. Probably because Ms Tate is a decent actress with good comic timing, and a nack for doing accents and facial expressions... Who would have thought it? I still wish they'd chosen a non-Earth person for a companion though and hope that they break the now very predictable mould next time round.

An authentic Roman set

The Fires of Pompei was DW's attempt at doing an Italian epic and for the most part it worked. Very handy that the Beeb were able to use the set from Rome, must have saved them a bob or two. The set designs and costumes were jolly good and the whole look of the thing was authentic (okay a wee bit CGI above...) Although actually, in spite of the fact this was meant to be "big scale", the focus was quite small i.e. on just a handful of characters.

The rock monsters were quite good. That's about all I'm going to say on that score.

I wonder if my outfit would have made the House of Howard?

Good guest cast and solid performances, in particular Peter Capaldi and Tracy Childs...didn't really like Tracy's red haired perm though. The days of long-haired sloane Lynn Howard are long gone.

Oh great gods Dr, Donna, please send me some nice underpants from TK Maximus ... It gets awfully parky in this toga ...

Their son was quite a cutey (I half-wished there'd been a sudden gust of wind to lift his toga ... Carry on up Pompei anyone?). Loved the touch with him praying to the gods of Dr and Donna at the end.

I'm snarly! I'm nasty! I'm a bit underused!

As for Phil Davis he was okay and suitably snarly but could have been better used.

Going on up to the spirit in the sky...that's where I'm gonna be...when the volcano erupts and I get melted to nothing by the fiery hot magma (original lyrics!)

However the psychic sisters, as one of my friends pointed out, did look rather like the backing singers from Dr and the Medics ...

If you don't go back and save a few people, I'll pull this bleedin' lever! And pull a bleedin' fit while I'm about it! Bleedin' 'ell!

The whole issue of should we-shouldn't we save Pompei from destruction was well handled I felt, with Donna as an appropriate moral voice - her concern for the people and appeal to the Dr to do something was touching and gave a new dimension to the character. Whilst the Doc wanted to preserve established history we were shown it wasn't always that easy. So we got a nice compromise at the end.

Some of the lines grated though, especially "TK Maximus" and the attempt to "normalise" the Romans speech didn't always work - the cockerney stall holder was just annoying. But fairly minor gripes.

And what's this about Donna having something on her back? Whilst it seems that the Dr's number might be up too (or should that be David Tennant? Leading to all those soon-to-regenerate rumours...)

Walking in a (interplanetary) Winter wonderland ... It's all real you know ...

Planet of the Oooooooooooddd! Ooooooh I liked it. And even me old blogging mate Timewarden (and did you know that he too is back, back, BACK?) did as well - blimey. It must have been a decent story to convince him! A cracking tale with proper sci-fi elements - a human base on another planet under seige, aliens going on the rampage ... A nicely bleak (there's an oxymoron if ever there was one) industrial setting with loadsa snow that didn't look too fake (lovely vista shot when the Doc and Donna stepped out of the TARDIS near the start). Liked the Ood marketing bits and the Warhol style Ood pictures. (Might have to get my own to go alongside my Divas one).

Persil balls ahoy ... And someone's tipped a whole box of Persil behind us by the looks of things ...

And darker undertones too with the story's treatise on the wrongs of slavery as presented via the Ood. It was great to see the spaghetti heads back - definitely one of the most successful of the new Who monsters, so deserving of a resurrection - and this time we got to find out more about them. I loved the Ood "song" which brought a poetry to their plight and the feel of the whole story.

No, I don't know who Edmund Blackadder is ...

Good performances from Tim "Blackadder" McInerry as Mr Halpin (his Ood transformation at the end was disgusting but arguably deserved).

I'm a gorgeous marketing person and I don't want to die!!

And the gorgeous doe-eyed Aeyesha Dharker as marketing girl Solana who also met a nasty end.

And I've just watched The Sontaran Strategem and thoroughly enjoyed it. Hoorah for the return of the two-parter! Hoorah for another Earth invasion story! (Yes I know we've had a lot of 'em, but...) And there are a few other hoorahs are in order too ...

If you ask to see Rik, Vivien or Neil one more time , I'll shoot you with my scary Sontaran shooting stick! (Oooh lovely siblilance ...)

Hoorah for the return of the potato heads! Yes after a 23 year hiatus, the mighty Sontarans are back, back, BACK! Their outfits were nicely militaristic and bulky and their faces didn't look as bad as some of the early publicity shots seemed to suggest, even if they were a bit rubbery and fake. Christopher Ryan as General Staal was great, full of swagger and typical rhetorical Sontaran warrior-talk and his (small) stature as an actor was an obvious blessing when it came to this role. I couldn't help thinking of Mike from The Young Ones though, as his voice wasn't exactly disguised or anything like that. The guy playing his sidekick, Storr, sounded even more human and not very menacing for a supposed alien warrior. Sack the voice coach!

And has anyone told the spud-heads that the Judoon nicked their uniforms? Another reason to get mad…

Oh and I loved the "Sontah" - chant! Very football holligan-ish.

The gassing everyone through car exhausts strategy was quite clever although why didn't Bernard "Wilf" Cribbins just smash the window of the car at the end?!

Colonel Mace at your service, Maam! I'm a military stereotype and I'm a bit bland!

Hoorah for the return of UNIT! They're back, back, BACK!! A proper resurrection this time after their not very proper appearance in "Aliens of London/World War Three". Here they’re obviously much more to the fore, with their own mobile HQ and led by the very English Colonel Mace who it has to be said is rather…bland. He doesn’t really possess the charisma of Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, although I guess it's still early days. Why couldn’t they have brought the Brig back for a cameo anyhow?

And there was a nice jokey reference to the DW Unit stories of yore when Donna asks the Doc when he worked for them - "The 1970s. Or was it the 80s?" playing on all the past controversy about precisely WHEN the Unit stories did take place (which geeky DW fans always get sooo worked up about).

Crossroads motel can I help - sorry I mean, hello Dr! It's Martha! And I'm bringing you BACK toEarth! Back to life! Back to reality! Back to the - sniiiiiiiiip!!

Hoorah for the return of Martha! She's back, back, B - okay this is getting tiresome...But I’m pleased to say that Ms Jones appears to have improved since Season Three. Probably cos the “Dr I lurve you” strand has finally been ditched and she's now working for UNIT as a proper medical scientist. (And her Torchwood appearances most likely helped to bolster up the character as a more mature, independent personality too). Okay so Ms Agyeman still delivered some of her lines somewhat woodenly, but overall she IS better. Talking of poorly delivered lines, at least Ms A CAN get away with that when playing Martha’s “evil double” – a fun sub-plot with the potential for some good drama, although personally I think the Dr is a tad thick not to have noticed the difference in Martha’s phone manner…And now she’s engaged to Dr Tom Milligan! (Who we didn’t even get to see, how cheap…) And no Donna-Martha bitchfight either – such a shame – it could have been just like this. Or maybe not. Actually there was a bit of tension at the start when the Dr and Martha were reunited and Donna gets acquainted with the former companion, but this was dealt with sparingly and convincingly with some sharp dialogue and soon got forgotten about … just as well, really as there were other things for the story to focus on.

Luke Brattigan looking pretty in pink but frankly rather annoying ...

The only thing I didn't much care for was the annoyingly clever-clever character Luke (B)Rattigan. (Who probably solved the Rubics cube the moment he came out the womb. Except he's probably too young to know what a Rubics cube is ...) But his irritating brattishness was kind of intentional. Let's hope he gets his just deserts in Part Two ...

Anyway, this looks set to be a classic Earth invasion story provided Part Two delivers! Here’s hoping!

I almost forgot to mention David Tennant. Now into his third series as the Doc, he's really hit his stride and thankfully quite a lot of his irritating tics and mannerisms seem to have vanished. Which I'm not especially sorry about. Okay we're still getting the wide-eyed, shouty Dr sometimes but on the whole he's doing alright and is very much THE DR. *

Well, that's about it for now. Byeeeeeeeee!!

* Actually I've just realised I said almost exactly the same thing about DT in a post below. Ahem!

Saturday nights are cool again...

It's back!! Unbelievably, last night I wasn't able to sit down and watch DW when it was actually on (we had friends round) so me and my hubbie caught up with it on BBC iPlayer instead. What a marvellous invention it is.

Well, I really enjoyed it.

A few Cheeser criticisms out of the way first though. Like Steve, I thought the Adipose plotline was kind of daft and ultimately they weren't really the "sinister" threat that the pre-programme publicity made them out to be - ultimately just a load of baby aliens waiting to be born and then depart Earth to return to their home world. The Adipose themselves were more cuddly and cute than scary, and reminded me of something out of Ghostbusters, with their Pilsbury Dough Boy/Marshmallow man appearance, baby/giggly noises and waddling - hardly a worldwide menace. Definitely one for the kiddie audience. Consequently the tone of the episode did sometimes veer towards the silly rather than serious. On reflection though it was probably a deliberate ploy on the part of the writers to start off with a fairly lightweight story, in order to focus on the reintroduction of Ms Donna Noble and the dynamics of her relationship with the Dr.

And, whilst on the subject of Ms Catherine Tate/Donna...

I thought... ... she was actually pretty good!

OMG!! Yes, after numerous posts slagging off RTD et al for deciding to resurrect the character of Donna, I may well have to go and munch on some humble pie. For this was a far more "reigned in" Donna that we got to see, some time after the events of Runaway Bride - and generally a much more restrained and reflective lady after the fishwife performance of her debut story. A lot of the screeching and moaning of yore had vanished. Okay, there were still some "comedy" CT moments but on the whole these slotted in quite well with everything else. For instance, the scene with the Dr and Donna silently mouthing at each other through glass. Dr: "Donna?" Donna: "Oh-my-GOD!"Dr: "How?"Donna: "It's me!" Etc... Odd, cos when viewed in the original Season Four trailer, Donna's "Doctaaaaaaaaaaaar!" bit seemed awful (prompting me to do a "What's Donna saying?" post) but here it was very funny (the p*ss-take "tense" orchestral score in the background was a nice counterpoint too).

It was also good to see Donna getting more backstory - having to put up with her nagging, continually whinging mum (now we know where the fishwife characteristics originated) her scene with her Grandpa (a lovely cameo from Bernard Cribbins) where she talks about the Dr (nicely acted/done) and the bit at the end with Donna and the Doc waving to Gramps from the airborn TARDIS was actually rather touching and sweet!

Another positive aspect of Donna is the fact that, unlike Rose and Martha, she's a stronger and older character who is NOT romantically fixated on the Dr. Actually that's rather inaccurate as Ms Tyler and Ms Jones DID have their "strengths" as well, but the fancying the Doc thing at times seriously undermined their respective personas. It was established pretty much early on in "Partners" that Donna didn't like the Dr "in that way", Donna's amusing lines "Mad Martha that one...blind Martha...charity Martha..." firmly establishing her p.o.v. on that subject. And I liked the clever bit of dialogue with the Dr stating: "I just want a mate" which Donna mistook to mean "I just wanna mate" (!) leading to her response: "You're not mating with me, sunshine!" Again, in the original Season Four trailer, the latter Donna declaration had sounded pretty cringeworthy, but here worked much better when viewed in the context of the whole scene. And now that one's under their belts the Dr and Donna can embark on a more mature relationship. Here's hoping...

I was pleasantly surprised by Catherine Tate overall. One thing I will say is that unlike Freema Agymen, she is an accomplished character actress (having played a variety of roles in her own comedy show to perfection) and she's also got depth, range and excellent comic timing. There were several times during "Partners in Crime" when her facial expressions and line delivery were spot-on and this bodes well for the future.

What else? Having the Dr and Noble both investigating Adipose industries at the same time was a definite coincidence but a way of bringing them back together. The way in which they kept missing each other by a hair's breadth until their eventual "reunion" - e.g. the popping up and down between the cubicles - was a bit farcial and far-fetched though...

The "Close Encounters" style spaceship looked impressive (and funny when Gramps, watching out for alien lifeforms, totally misses it).

Sarah Lancashire as the villainous Miss Foster was excellent, a far cry from the days of Raquel Woltenshulme - icy, efficient, businesslike and humorous albeit in a controlled fashion. Even if the Adipose plot wasn't up to much, she helped to carry the whole thing. I couldn't help feeling sorry for her when she twigged that the Adipose had just used her and she plunged to her death. But what was she doing with a sonic device? Early rumour had it that she was Time Lord, even the Rani, but this was not the case...

David Tennant, now entering into his third season as the Doc, has really hit his stride in the role. His sometimes annoying tics and mannerisms were far less evident on this occasion. A good thing too. We got some of his "wide eyed acting" but on the whole he was good and his scenes with CT worked well.

And finally! Totally out of the blue we got a ... cameo from Rose Tyler!! Looking very moody and serious. How did she get back from the other side of the void? Why was she there? It was a great and genuinely surprising addition to the episode (even if she was only onscreen 10-15 seconds) and added nicely to the sense of anticipation re: the "proper" return of Rose later this season.

So, an entertaining start to the new series. Roll on the rest of Season Four!

PS I am intending to finish off my Torchwood reviews of Season Two... but as you know DW always take precedence for moi. Nah nah nah!

Look at meeeeee!!! I'm a gobby ginger clown!!! (Or should that be "claaaaaaarn"??)

Well, that's one thing La Noble might be saying here. Any other ideas, ladies and gents?

Okay, I'm tagging the following people: Steve, Tim, Nora, Newplanet, Dan, Lost Boy, Paul, James and Amanda! And anyone else is more than welcome to respond should they desire ... it's just that I'm aware that you guys and gals are best equipped to comment on DW, having more than a smattering of knowledge between you!

Your mission: Fill in Donna's dialogue for her. What's she saying in the above pic? Something eloquent and intellectual? Or something downright stoopid and irritating? The choice is YOURS. Answers on a posted comment, please...

The overall winner gets the Old Cheeser Certificate of Commendation for Deliciously Diabolical Donna Dialogue (try saying that after a few cans of diamond white).

Ta peeps! One just couldn't resist!

OC xxx

Saturday 5th April....

... is not too far away! Yaaay!!

Most of you have already beaten me by putting this up already, but here goes:



Have to say that La Chav doesn't look too bad in this, aside from the horrid "Doctaaaaaaaa!!" shouting-silently-through-glass bit. In the talking-to-Gramps scenes she almost seems ... deep. Good grief! Will Donna prove to be a decent Doctor-foil yet?

The rest of it looks positively gripping! I will approach it with an open mind...There's choc-loads of other info about the forthcoming Season Four too, but again the diehards amongst you will most probably have read it all on t'net by now, so not much point posting it here...I might do a little (little? Ha!) new series preview soon though...

Oh and the Beeb have also done some short alien teaser trailers too if you want to check those out. Kind of blows the gaff on the return of one monster, even if the rumours about them coming back were pretty strong anyway....

And I had a very nice Easter break and trust that all of you did too. Good to get away to York and also went to see Wicked the other night, courtesy of my lovely hubbie! More anon...

OC x

Noblesse o-bilge

"Mmm, why the fack did I agree to sign up to Dr Who for an entire bleedin' series?" Why, indeed...

FINALLY.

You'd probably all long forgotten about this by now. And big apologies to those of you who sent me all those wonderful contributions which never got published. But now they have. Or are.

I'm talking about a certain Dr Who mini-script I produced some time back, based around the premise of what might happen when companions Martha Jones and Donna Noble (the latter about to become a more permanent fixture in Season Four) meet. In a nutshell, Ms Jones and Ms Noble didn't get on and had a bitch-fight to rival that of Alexis and Krystle in "Dynasty", with what I thought were humorous consequences. I SO loved writing it! (Click on the link above if you wanna read the thing in it's entirety).

At the time of writing the script, I was experiencing feelings of intense annoyance that Catherine Tate had been cast for the whole of Season Four and was seriously fearing the consequences. When some nice pictures of Ms T as Donna were published, with her actually looking quite alluring, the Donnaphobic feelings did subside somewhat. Unfortunately the recent broadcast of the Season Four trailer, brought my ditch-the-Donna desires bubbling to the surface once again. In just a couple of lines, the character managed to come across as a feckless cow with a line in stupid, unfunny humour ("Why do you call me miss? Do I look single?" "You're not mating with me, sunshine!") Aaaaah!! FACK OFF!!

Hence, a return to the subject of La Noble is probably quite timely.

And so because I knew that many of you out there were similarly endowed with wonderful creative powers, not to mention the fact that several of you were Whovians, I came up with an ingenious challenge: CONTINUE THE STORY. My Dr Who episode concluded with a cliff hanger of epic proportions: Donna having seemingly succeed in flushing Martha down a hospital toilet, and the Dr suddenly running into Sally Sparrow and Larry Nightingale, characters from "Blink", now flogging DVDs to make a living. And here's what you thought should happen next....

Dan came up with this:

Does Donna pull at her annoying face a bit and it goes all rubbery, only for her to be revealed as Adric, who survived the big bang by being The World's Oldest Joke (a new species of immortal) and hanging around in terrible comedies, evolving through time (and space) as The World's Worst Catchphrase where he worked his way from '... Nice out' to 'Mister Grimsdale' to 'suit you sir' to 'Am I bovvered?' therefore becoming Tate when he found his previously-unopened gold star badge was in fact a pocket watch what did make him all magical and explained how he had been around so long?

Then Martha recognises him from the DVD of Earthshock, laughs at his rubbish acting and he dies of utter utter shame.

Very surreal and thank you, Dan. Incidentally if you don't know who Adric is, try here. He was a mathematical genius from the planet Alzarius you know. Or to be more precise, an annoying, precocious brat of a companion with piggy features and a pudding bowl haircut. (And a bender in real life too, so rumour has it. Matthew Waterhouse, who played Adprick, apparently got more than friendly with a male Who fan at a convention and disappeared off to America with him. Positively Earthshocking!)

Meanwhile... Steve produced this:

After copious flushings and forced dunkings with a crusty looking hospital bog brush, Martha is beginning to get desperate.

"Look, I’m warning you Donna!”

"Yeah? Like I’m scaaared, right?”

Martha’s head is rammed perilously close to the S bend yet again and another yank on the chain sends another 5 litres of recycled water down onto Martha’s expensive hair-do. Donna rolls back her head and laughs demonically.

Suddenly an ear-piercing screech pierces the air. “Right! That’s it!”

With a highly polished RADA flourish Martha produces a laser screwdriver from out of the depths of her subtly powdered cleavage and jabs Donna in the ribs with it. The effect is instantaneous. Donna releases Martha’s head and back away, suddenly meek and humble.

“’Ere, wot you doin’?”

Martha can’t keep the fury from her voice. “I warned you didn’t I you mong-faced, ginger-bushed chav!”

“No, come on girl; take it easy... only ‘avin’ a laugh wun I? Bygones and all that, eh luv?”

“I don’t think so, you one trick pony... take that!”

With a high pitched zinging sound Donna is suddenly thrown into a fit of hyper fast aging and transforms before Martha’s vengeful eyes into East End Gran.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh me back. Wot you dun to me, eh? Wot you dun to me? Ooh. Me bladder ain’t ‘alf twitchin’. ‘Ere you ain’t got a spare colostomy fingie ‘anging abaht ave yer, luv? I feel a bit of a deluge comin’ on.”

Martha looks shocked. “Blimey, I wasn’t expecting it to do that. I thought I’d set it to ginger hair incineration mode. I’d better get the Doctor.”

Martha goes to the toilet door and leans out into the corridor shouting at the top of her voice. “Doctor! DOCTOR!”

Meanwhile Donna has popped out her false teeth and is polishing them with the elbows of her cardie. “Do anyfing for yer these nurses... real sweethearts... but fuck me ain’t they common! Spend far too much time on their backs as well... ‘aving their gynae whatsits poked abaht with. I know what these student doctors are like. Randy little bastards, the lot of them!”

With a squeal or rubber soled sneakers, the Doctor belts around the corner with a maniacal grin on his face. “Martha! There you are! Been looking all over for you. I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet!”

“I think I’ve already met her, Doctor... I think you’d better take a look.” Martha leads the Doctor into the toilets where he’s met with the horrific site of East End Gran sitting in a hot pool of her own urine.

“Jesus H Krishna Guru Murphy! Is that Donna?! What have you done to her, Martha?”

Martha looks shamefaced. “I’m not sure... I grabbed this laser screwdriver thing from the Master and I thought I’d figured out how to use it but...”

The Doctor shakes his head. “You’ve turned her into an incontinent old battle axe. I can’t time travel with that. Just think how many incontinent pads I’d have to store in the Tardis! I’d have to downsize my wardrobe. I just can’t do it!”

East End Gran rounds on the Doctor furiously. “Wot? Wot you say? You long shanked streak of acting school piss, how dare you. I ain’t wet meself. Tight as a gnats chuff my rosemary is. How bleedin’ dare you!”

The Doctor ahems and points at the lake of piss that surrounds East End Gran like a slightly off-yellow moat. “I beg to differ, love, look. That’s well shameful.”

“Yeah well, I ain’t bovvered.”

Martha joins in: “Yeah but don’t you feel the shame? You’ve wet your Nike’s and everything. That’s well shameful, that is.”

“Don’t care. Do I look like I care?”

The Doctor: “You’ve wet yourself. You’ve got loose white trash piss flaps.”

Martha: “Yeah swinging open like a B52’s bomb bay doors...”

“LOOK I AIN’T BOVVERED RIGHT!”

Ad infinitum...

Hilarious! Cheers Steve. He's clearly got a great ear for dialogue - very observational and clever! Spot on impersonation of East End gran too....

And then came this from Newplanet. His is more a collection of ideas and I'm afraid I didn't really have the time/was too lazy to turn it into a script proper. Some nice concepts though:

Well, I enjoyed your script and I liked how there seemed to be lots of references and comparisons to the Doctor's past assistants. Which got me to thinking wouldn't it be nice if loads of Doctors Assistants had been brought through time and space to the hospital where Martha works. We're talking Martha, Donna, Rose, Sarah-Jane, etc etc. We're also talking major rivalry and jealousy and much more cat-fighting and heads in toilet bowls!

Then I had the idea of the Kylie dolls. They're coming to life (like cute little mini versions of the Autons) and they're trying to kill off the Doc's past assistants. Who's behind it all? Well, it turns out that Astrid-the-Titanic-waitress has also been brought forward in time. It's here that she learns that in a parallel reality, she's a singer/actress who had a starring role in a TV Christmas Special about a time travelling Doctor (when hearing this, Rose also remembers she is a singer/actress in a parallel reality)! Discovering that the last Doctor's assistant who starred in a Christmas Special went on to become a real deal full-time variety, she (either Astrid or Astrid's parallel alter-ego) has decided to go to any lengths to secure her role as the Doc's next assistant. All the Doctor's most popular past assistants must die - even if it means getting a little help from the Nestene Consciousness to make sure it happens.

Neat idea (I especially like the idea of the Kylie-Auton dolls). Thanks Mr Newplanet! So, erm, who's gonna write da script?

And that's it! Hope you enjoyed the contributions. I really liked 'em! My only slight gripe is that no-one picked up on the Sally and Larry strand, not to mention what happened to Leo Jones, after being left completely naked in the middle of the hospital reception (shame about the last bit not being continued, perv that I occasionally am). And it would have been nice if a few more of you had submitted ideas to me, which was a pity. But it's never too late, as a certain pop star once said. I can always post some more you know...

Hope you enjoyed. Till the Real Ms Noble graces our screens then...I can hardly wait...