Homophobia - the worst disease...

"...you can't love who you want to love, in times like these" as Chumbawamba once so eloquently put it.

Post-housewarming party (hoorah - more on that one soon) and post-hangover (thank God) me and the hubbie watched “Brokeback Mountain” on DVD last night. A bit of a downbeat and sad end to an otherwise fun-filled weekend, but still rewarding viewing nevertheless.

I’d already seen “Brokeback” on the big screen but couldn’t resist snapping it up for a bargain price on DVD recently. A major incentive of course being the very sad and untimely death of Heath Ledger – this film boasts one of his best performances and I wanted to get it as a kind of tribute to him. Not to mention the fact that it’s a very interesting movie from a gay perspective.

In case you’ve been, um, up a mountain or working as a sheep herder on your lonesome, “Brokeback Mountain” is the story of two men, ranch hand Ennis del Mar and rodeo cowboy Jack Twist, who meet and fall in love on the fictional Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming, Western USA in 1963. The film documents their complex and sexual relationship over the next two twenty years, one complication being that, due to social and sexual pressures, they are both forced to marry women, yet still choose to carry on their clandestine affair. Another difficulty is geography, as Ennis and Jack both live far apart and liaisons are thus rare (on one occasion they don’t see each other for four years!) But the final and most arduous obstacle of all is homophobia, which (presumably) leads to the death of Jack at the end. This being 1963 and the American West, attitudes towards homosexuality were far from accepting and same-sex relations were generally regarded as an abomination.

Both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal do a fine job of portraying the tortured love affair of Ennis and Jack, and their intense frustration at the seemingly insurmountable barriers that prevent them from publicly expressing their love. What I like about the film is the “normalness” of the characters which makes for a refreshing change – there are no over-the-top, camp melodramatics here and not much “lovey-doveyness” between Ennis and Jack (although the latter is probably the more emotional of the two). They are portrayed as being two ordinary guys who just happen to be in love without a proper outlet for expressing their feelings and desires. Ledger’s Ennis is particularly true to life and you can really believe that men like him do exist – a person brim-full of anger, rage and frustration (he actually hits Jack a few times) yet with a sensitivity that is buried so deep it is rarely permitted to surface (e.g. at the movie's end, on his own, he clutches the dead Jack’s denim shirt to him and sobs – a very moving moment indeed). Which makes you realise that love between men can spring up in all kinds of places, in many different forms, and all those stories set on the gay scene in urban metropolises like London, San Francisco, New York etc provide a very small and narrow picture indeed.

The film also got me to thinking further– very obvious I know, but – how very different the experience of actually being gay can be across the world, not to mention how things have moved on considerably in only a few decades. After watching “Brokeback”, Gustavo and I couldn’t help remarking at how extremely fortunate we are to be living as we do now and not in Wyoming in the US in 1963. But in fact there are still many pockets of our supposedly enlightened society where bigoted and backward attitudes still prevail, with no signs of dissipating. To be openly gay (or for that matter, lesbian), to outwardly demonstrate one’s true sexuality, to form relationships with someone of the same sex, to show affection in public, to even be just known as gay – is still viewed as abhorrent by many.

As a 38 year old gay man, when I look back on my life, I’ve count myself as pretty lucky. DAMN lucky in actual fact. From age 7 onwards I grew up in York in North England. A lovely, historical city with a fair amount to see and do, but no gay scene or community so to speak. There was one pub next to the York Minster called “The York Arms” and apparently if you went through the door on the left entrance door that was the “gay side” of the pub. Mmm, great. I think there was a club which had a “gay friendly” night about once a month. That was pretty much about all there was on offer. Consequently I didn’t think there was much around to affirm my burgeoning sexuality and only properly “came out” once I moved away to the Midlands where I went to University – there was a Gay and Lesbian society there for students and for me, it was like an oasis in a desert. It was also where I met my first boyfriend. Years later I moved to Brighton on the South Coast which, with it’s extensive scene and community, is famed for being a gay “haven” and in general is a very “anything goes”, bohemian, accepting town. I had lots of positive experiences there which helped me to grow as a person. Fast forward to years later and I moved up to London which is where I’ve been ever since and eventually met Gustavo who is now my civil partner! (And I will have to tell you all the proper story of how we met one day, but the potted version is that he we didn’t meet in a bar or anything like that, he was my neighbour! Romance can spring up right on your doorstep eh!)

Anyway. The point I’m trying to arrive as is that I’ve had it pretty good and easy compared to some. And I should also add that nowhere can be viewed as entirely safe or accepting, unfortunately. I’m now living with Gustavo in an area of South-East London, which whilst not ultra-rough, could hardly be termed “posh” either – it’s somewhere in between. But I haven’t seen many gays or lesbians strutting around (okay – stereotype I know, as you can’t always tell who “is” or who “isn’t" and any existing friends of Dorothy in my locale aren't exactly likely to be seen roller-skating down the street in pink leotards to the sounds of Gloria Gaynor - for better or for worse). Also – and I am in no way being a racist here – a large proportion of the population where I live are black, and amongst some parts of the black community e.g. Jamaican culture, homosexuality is regarded as a major sin and an offence against God. Black men in particular regard being gay as a major slight on one’s masculinity and a sign of weakness – guys who take it up the a*se are termed “batty men” or “anti men”. And yeah, I’ve had this charming phrase shouted at me a good few times - nice. A few years ago I was walking down a street in North London holding Gustavo’s hand (perhaps a bit of a mistake given the area we were in) when two kids on bikes (one of them can have only been about 10 years old at the most) chased and threw a firework at us. Fortunately no damage was done but it still shook me and I learnt my lesson as a result.

As for where I’m living now, whilst I don’t exactly need to exit my front door wearing a riot shield or protective head gear, I also doubt that I'd walk down our local high street being openly demonstrative with my husband, for fear of something bad happening. Yet if I was walking down Old Compton Street in Soho kissing Gustavo or holding his hand, I doubt that anyone would so much as bat an eyelid. Probably flutter them in encouragement, more like.

In this age of civil partnerships and growing acceptance for lesbians and gays, this is not the way things should be. But regrettably it still DOES seem to be the way in certain circles.

As a result I’m very interested in knowing what kind of experiences my gay bloggers (of which I know there are several) have had during their respective lifetimes.

And at the risk of sounding discriminatory I’m more than happy to hear the views of my “straight” (ahem) bloggers too!

A strong topic for debate, yes?

I'm gonna learn how to fly...HIGH!!

Over the last few weeks I have been mostly watching…Fame! Yes my hubbie and I have been treating ourselves to regular doses of the old 1980s TV show, the first series of which is now out on DVD and which I couldn't resist purchasing. Whilst not quite as fabulous as I remember it (the memory often plays tricks) it is nevertheless a lovely blast from the past and good fun to watch.

Even the most off-the-radar person will know the theme tune to “Fame” (“Remember my name – Fame!! I’m gonna live forever! I’m gonna learn how to fly – high!!) which still gets played in cheesy discos and features on most 1980s compilations. It all started with the movie in 1980, directed by Alan Parker, relating the stories of the students and staff at the New York High School for the Performing Arts. The TV series followed shortly in 1982, with exactly the same emphasis and ran for five years. With it’s mix of drama, comedy, music and choreography, it was a big hit and appealed to the wannabe performers, thespians and divas amongst us all…

So who was who at the New York School for the Arts…? Here’s a refresher for y’all…

THE TEACHERS

Lydia Grant – no nonsense, sh*t-kicking dance teacher who frequently sends her students into an aerobic frenzy. “Alright everybody? Callisthenics!” She’s the queen of the dance studio. Probably the most famous lines of all are delivered by Lydia during the programme’s opening theme/titles: “You’ve got big dreams? You want Fame? Well fame costs! And right here is where you start paying…in sweat!” Cue banging of dance stick on floor. Ooer missus. Debbie Allen, who played Lydia, is a dancer and choreographer in real life (she organised a lot of the routines in the show) and now runs the Debbie Allen Dance Academy. I wonder if she says the same thing to her students there?

Elizabeth Sherwood – seemingly starchy but really rather caring English teacher. Has a lovely bouffant hairstyle but thankfully all resemblance to Margaret Thatcher therewith ends. She and student Leroy Johnson have a tempestuous relationship, however, in one episode she finds out about his home background and makes an effort to help out. If only all teachers were so nice and supportive.

Benjamin Shorofsky – elderly music teacher of German descent. White hair and beard. Slightly fuddy duddy and traditional, especially with regard to his ideas on music. In one episode student Bruno performs a hilarious synthesiser p*sstake-tribute to the Professor, “Sho-sho-sho-Shorofosky”, much to the Prof’s chagrin.

THE STUDENTS

Leroy Johnson – lithe black dancer with a bit of an attituuuuude. Often clashes with Miss Sherwood as he isn’t the most literate of students and hates academia. His real strengths lie in dancing and it has to be conceded he is an amazing mover. Became famous for his tight, high cut shorts which he sometimes wore OVER his tracksuit trousers, a la Superman (ex Radio Two DJ Terry Wogan often used to comment on this). Oddly enough I was recently chatting to an Italian friend of mine who told me that Gene Anthony Ray, the actor who played Leroy, ended up living in Italy and became addicted to drink and drugs. He died only a few years back from an AIDS-related illness. A sad end to a genuine talent.

Julie Miller – hippy, dippy cellist who arrives at the School of Performing Arts in the first episode. She has a long distance relationship with her boyfriend in Grand Rapids and wears a chain round her neck which he gave her as a gift. The other students mock her for this which upsets her. Has problems fitting in at first but after some straight talking from Coco, toughens up more and learns to adjust. Often wears sensible slacks and body warmers. Groovy. Lori Singer, who played her, was one of the few actors from the show that went on to achieve any kind of post-Fame success – she was in “Footloose” for instance. Mind you, even that was over 20 years ago.

Coco Hernandez – like Leroy, a gifted dancer and protégé of Lydia Grant. She and Leroy are close pals although they have a rather heated relationship. She and Julie don’t always see eye to eye and Coco is a bit of a meanie toward poor old Jules, but eventually they resolve their differences. Coco is very driven and determined to make it (to heaven? To light up the sky like a flame?) She can be a rather stubborn girlie at times too. Also sings the main theme tune (originally performed by disco diva Irene Cara).

Bruno Martelli – talented keyboard player and perm head (is he related to Leo Sayer?) of Italian-American origin. Has a big love of naff '80s synthesisers, which are often utilised during the show’s musical numbers e.g. Hi Fidelity, Sho-Sho-Shorofosky. Bruno and the Prof also have differing opinions about music, Bruno taking a more “modern” approach over the Prof’s more “classical” preferences – it’s a generational thing you know. Bruno’s taxi-playing dad Angelo often turns up during proceedings and even buys him a brand new keyboard in one episode when he blows the previous one up. Gee, what a swell pop he is.

Doris Schwartz – perm-headed and slightly dumpy – okay let’s say “curvaceous” instead, it’s nicer – female student. Doris is the “bubbly” character and also a little bit whacky but basically very sweet. She’s also the wise-cracking one – as with fellow student Danny, she has ambitions to become a female comic. Has a very nice singing voice too. I love her “Making her voice so craaaazy!!” bit on “Desdemona”.

Danny Amatullo – what is it with all these characters with Italian names? Boasts one of those wonderfully '80s long-but-layered-hair-dos, slightly reminiscent of Princess Diana. Like Doris wants to make it as a comedian, the problem is, some of his jokes are distinctly unfunny. Gets a job as a busboy in a restaurant just so he can talk to a well-known comedian but gets the brush-off. Awww. A little bit cocky, a little bit street, a little bit “watcha-lookin’-aaaat, Schwaaaaartz?”

Montgomery MacNeil – of all the characters, probably the most boring and non-descript. In the original film version he was gay but his sexuality has been completely neutered in the TV adaptation. A ginga (that’s ginger) to boot, he does a horrible treacly smile in the title sequence. I honestly can’t remember much else about him than that. Doesn't say much, does it?

So that's the Fame posse. The original cast in fact, as some of this lot left over the years. But as you might have gathered they're quite an interesting bunch. And as well as the characters, there were other elements to the show itself which made it legendary:

1. The 1980s fashions. Often laughed at, even at the time. Leg-warmers were a prominent feature, not to mention an abundance of leotards, bright colours and big hair. And Leroy's shorts over his sweat pants.

2. The songs and dance routines – each episode would feature at least 2-3 of these, with some of the lead characters singing a "toon" of their own (usually related to whatever this week's episode was about). Most incredible of all was how characters would launch into perfect renditions of songs completely unrehearsed or start performing complicated dance routines in the most conspicuous of places e.g. the middle of the street, the school canteen. It must have been hard to eat your lunch in peace without some cart-wheeling dancer landing their trainers on your plate. The episode I watched last night featured Bruno and Doris visiting a music store where Mr Martelli has taken his son to buy a new synthesiser. Ostensibly trying out one of the keyboards, Bruno then breaks into a note-perfect rendition of "Hi Fidelity" with Doris on vocals. For no apparent reason, other than providing some necessary musical accompaniment, the remaining customers in the shop then decide to join in, with someone playing guitar, someone on drums, and so forth. How nice. Who would have guessed there was so much talent around?

3. A moral or a message. Yes, you can't get away from it in American shows. Each week the characters would go through some kind of dilemma/problem and by the end of the episode have learnt something new about themselves or a situation. For example in one instalment, Coco and Lydia both (unbeknownst to each other) audition for the same role in a play. To make matters worse, the director of the play is Lydia's ex-boyfriend. When the ladies find out they're both competing with each other for the same part, tension breaks out and Coco is furious that Lydia's ex is involved. But the role ends up going to another actress. However Lydia and Coco resolve their problems in the final reel, realising that in spite of losing out, friendship is what matters most and that they both still have lots of talent. Which leads nicely into their resolution-dance at the end, "I Still Believe In Me", in which they perform a perfectly synchronised routine in the school dance studio. All a bit schmaltzy and nicey-nicey, although the sopster in me admits to quite liking it too. We usually got this kind of thing every week.

Of course most recently "Fame" has been re-launched as a musical. I haven't seen it but I have a feeling it isn't that great. Apparently most of the characters and songs are totally different. Call me a nostalgic, call me an old cheeser, but you can't beat the original TV show. Especially for those of us with "big dreams". There's a lot of us out there ya know.