Diary of an old cheeser

Hi there! Like other blogs, this is my chance to wax lyrical (some might say talk utter cr*p) about a) what's happening in my life b) all of my pet obsessions in particular music, tv, movies, books and other generally connected things, quite often of the retro, old and "cheesy" variety. Hence the title of my blog. Feel free to leave a comment if the mood takes you. There's nothing like a good chinwag about one's favourite topics and besides I love to meet new people! Cheers, Simon

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

My umbrella-ella-ella-ella

Perhaps I should buy an umbrella that looks like this, then I'd be sure not to forget it. On the other hand I might get severely beaten up on the way home...

Just popped out to the shops at lunchtime to buy a new umbrella, owing to the fact that I left my previous one on the train last night. God damn it!! And it cost £16!! Aaaah!! I am seriously worried about my propensity for forgetfulness of late. Not to mention the number of brain cells that must be dying off inside my head on a daily (hourly? minute-ly? second-ly? Ok, time to f*ck up the English language) basis.

I think I must have mislaid/lost/forgotten about a dozen or so umbrellas during my lifetime. This does, however, seem to be a common occurence. It's sooo easy to put down one's brolley down next to one on a bus/train/pub/etc seat, then get up and totally forget that's where you'd left it, until you're halfway to somewhere else. Of course if you got up, went outside and saw it was raining, you'd probably realise a lot quicker. That was the problem last night. When I walked to the station it was chucking it down, by the time I got off la train, it had stopped. (And yes, the eagle-eyed amongst you will probably be asking, "Why's he getting the train when he was only recently rabbiting on about the joys of now catching the bus?!" Er, well, I do catch the bus in the morning but on the way home I sometimes have to get the train as I do various things like going to the gym, which is not near enough to the bus stop at home...Bet you wish you'd never asked now eh?)

Gosh isn't this just SUCH an exciting topic!

Anyway, I'm willing to bet that Umbrella Amnesia is a common syndrome.

So tell me your brolley stories. How many have YOU lost?


  • At 4:43 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You know the answer don't you? You need one of those things my mother always used to make for me to ensure I did not lose my gloves. It was sort of stretchy and you fed it through both sleeves of your coat and attached the gloves to it. I'm sure it would work with an umbrella? You could start a new trend?

    But yes, I leave umbrellas everywhere. I find that if you have a very large one (and I mean umbrella) it is actually harder to leave it behind.

  • At 11:15 pm , Blogger matty said...

    Oh, no! You should get that particular umbrella! I have a Malibu Barbie umbrella! You should see the looks I get as I stroll home thru the Oakland hood! ...they love me!

    (not really. ...it is just the standard Barbie umbrella!)

    Anyway, I've no idea how many I've lost/misplaced and/or stolen over the years --- but far too many to count.

    And, don't even go there when it comes to lost Blythe dolls! They quite literally just slip thru my fingers.

    Hold on to those brain cells!

    kisses from just east of GayTown,

  • At 2:33 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Reluctant - Perfect! That sounds like the IDEAL solution. Thanks for the tip, darling.

    Ha ha, well there are certain large things that would be very hard to leave behind, if you know what I mean. The problem with large brollies is they take up so much space and poke out everyone's eyes - not popular - even if they can't be missed so easily!

    Matty - I can just picture you now. So why haven't you got a Barbra Streisand one? What does the standard Barbie brolley look like anyway?

    Glad to hear you too are a loser - of umbrellas that is.

    Blythe dolls? Eh??

    The brain cells are dying out with increasing rapidity, babe! Aaaah!!

  • At 3:49 pm , Blogger Deemer said...

    I have done this so many times. Sometimes you get lucky though and find someone's really nice umbrella on the train. Finders, Keepers!

  • At 7:08 pm , Blogger matty said...

    You know, I think that is an un-tap'd market. We need Barbra Umbrellas. We have Barbra hoodies and scarves. Why not Babs Umbrellas!?!?!?

    I want one!

    You're far too young to be losing brain cells! Stop that!

    The sun is out!!!! During our rainy season! The sun is out! Actually, it only doesn't sun for about 3 months in the year. I shouldn't complain!

  • At 7:33 pm , Blogger Steve said...

    I have lost count of the number of umbrellas that I haven't so much as lost as had totally destroyed before my very eyes by feeble gusts of wind that could barely lift the wings of a gnat. In the end I decided that were a complete watse of money and instead invested £70 in a proper waterproof mountain walking coat type thing. It's brilliant. I now walk about as brazen as you like and let the rain lash me all it wants. Underneath my coat I'm as dry as a bone and... I never forget it...

  • At 12:53 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Deemer - now there's an idea! Why didn't I think of that. Don't you think what goes around, comes around though? If you steal something that belongs to someone else, you'll get something of your own swiped...

    Yes I know I am only talking about a bloody UMBRELLA! I'm just tooooo wholesome and good!

    Matty - Are there REALLY Barbra hoodies and scarves or are just winding me up?

    I think therein lies a challenge for you, Mister S - to get designing the definitive Babs brollie!

    Okay I will command the brain cell stoppage to erm, STOP!

    Enjoy the sun whilst you can! (It is getting slightly warmer here and lighter in the mornings which is something...)

    Steve - The raincoat sounds like a good idea. The problem is, if it were me, I wouldn't want to wear something as cumbersome every day (no offence). The thing with our wonderful English weather (he said with absolutely no trace of irony) is that you don't know exactly when it's going to rain, so you don't know when to wear suitable protective attire!


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