Just Say NO!!!

Aaaah bleedin' 'ell Tucker! The BBC are axing "Grange Hill"!! No waaaaay, mate!

Yes, after being broadcast for some thirty years, the popular children's drama series, set in a fictional comprehensive school, is finally coming into an end.

I feel quite gutted by this news, even though as an (apparent) adult I haven't watched the programme for a very long time. For one thing, it's shown before I get home so I don't get the chance.

But in my primary and secondary school days (appropriately enough) I was a major fan and remember quite clearly when the show erupted onto our TV screens in 1978. The series caused controversy right from the start, with its gritty, true-to-life portrayal of school life, as opposed to the "nicer", more cosy school dramas that had preceded it. Not to mention the characters themselves, like the tearaway Tucker Jenkins and mouthy madam Trisha Yates. Parents across the country were up in arms, worried that the antics of these rebellious pupils would somehow rub off on their own offspring.

Funny, because if you watch early episodes of "Grange Hill" now, they seem pretty tame in comparison with the kind of kids' TV we get in 2008 and what is now regarded as permissible television viewing. As one of the original actors from the show said, if they really showed what went on in schools in the 2000s, the programme would have to be broadcast after the 9 o' clock watershed. Standards have definitely changed and so in this respect it's understandable why they have decided to lay the show to rest.

However in its heyday, "Grange Hill" dealt with a variety of pertinent and controversial storylines, such as bullying, pupil-teacher romances, students throwing benches into the school swimming pool (ooooh!), heroin addiction (Zammo! more on him later), attempted suicide and even - gasp! - homosexual teachers!

So to commemorate the passing of this iconic kid's series, here's a mini tribute from moi, focussing on some of the most memorable characters (really I think this should be a Cheeser's Choice post!)

First off...

The pupils!

Peter "Tucker" Jenkins (see photo at the top of post, and the one above of the first cast line-up - Tucker's the one in the middle row with the dark-parted hair.) He was a right little rebel but somehow sexy with it (well erm, once he'd got past the pre-pubsecent period...) In his later years, he morphed into an English version of the Fonz / Danny Zucco from Grease with his leather jacket (see photo with Pogo below) and swaggering ways. Tucker was always getting into scrapes, though he wasn't a truly bad 'un, more of a lovable rogue and a point of identification for us kiddies (getting into strife with our teachers was something we all dreamed about but were too scared to actually do - so we lived our fantasies through Tucker). The character even went on to star in his own "Grange Hill" spin-off, "Tucker's Luck". And he was played by a very young Todd Carty, who later played the HIV positive character Mark Fowler in "Eastenders" for many years! Odd, cos "Grange Hill" seemed to serve as a kind of "warm up" school for lots of budding actors, many of whom graduated to "Eastenders" later on.

Alan Humphries (second from left, middle row, above). Rotund friend of Tucker. I can't remember much about him except that he too was one of the school deviants (no, not THAT kind). Oh and he liked to smoke too, which was very daring in its day. I do recall one episode when the school is on a cross-channel ferry trip to France and Alan chucks his packet of fags into the sea ... even the bad ones are capable of reform it seems ...

Benny Green (second from right, middle row). One of the few black characters when the show kicked off. Again don't remember much about Benny but he was a bit of a "naughtie". Him, Alan and Tucker formed the school's rebel triumvirate in the early days.

Trisha Yates (bottom row, left). As said, quite a mouthy, cheeky mare, but basically a good soul. She was often getting into fights with other girls - cue lots of hair-pulling and rolling around in unconvincing fashion. I also seem to remember she had a sister who affectionately referred to Trisha as "piglet". Fortunately she didn't resemble one. Years later in "Tucker's Luck", Trisha and Tucker ran into one another - it transpired that Tucker had had a birrova crush on old Trish over the years and they got it together! Wooh!

Justin Bennett (middle row, first right). The token Middle Class pupil and a bit of a snot-nosed bore. The polar opposite to Tucker, Justin was a well spoken, well-dressed young boy who played cricket and the piano and also suffered from nosebleeds. Artistic or "wet" depending on your point of view. His parents were worried that Grange Hill would be a bad influence on him. And when Justin tried to prove himself to Tucker's lot by climbing up a roof and then falling off onto the concrete below, it looked as though they were right. They should have sent him to Eton.

Penny Lewis (bottom row, first right). Another Middle Class student and terribly, terribly posh and clever. Wrote lots of scathing articles for the school magazine. Erm. Can't think of much else to say about her, except ... the actress who played her, Ruth Davies, went on to change her name to "Rudi" and starred in a rather good Andrea Newman drama called "A Sense of Guilt". Although her character in that was somewhat annoying. And did you know that her Mum is the authoress Beryl Bainbridge? Now you do.

Michael Doyle (middle row, first left). The first of the school "bad boys" and Tucker's nemesis. However his evil doings weren't made to go unpunished. At the end of one series, he's made to pick up lots of garabage off the floor of the corridor, prompting Tucker to come out with the "priceless" comment: " 'ere Doyle, I always said you were a load of rubbish!" Gripper Stebson followed in his wake and was a much nastier proposition ...

Douglas "Pogo" Patterson. Tubby ginger kid, seen here being mentored by the older and wiser Tucker. Pogo was a clownish figure and also the school wheeler-dealer - always trying to sell things like chocolate hedgehogs or pens in order to line his pockets with dosh. One of Pogo's most memorable storylines occured when he stole and memorised the contents of a load of exam papers, thinking that he and his fellow classmates would be tested on the very same questions in their mock exam. But he'd stolen the wrong ones and a totally different set of questions came up! Awwww Pogo!

Cor blimey! Is that Michelle Fowler in the photo above? Nah! It's pupil Suzanne Ross. But you'd be forgiven for thinking that it's 'Chelle, cos the same actress, Susan Tully played both characters. Suzanne came first and was another school rebel as well as being apparently the first girl to mention period pains on the telly (radical!) Teacher Mr Hopwood tried to reform her to little avail, although I think she calmed down a bit later. One of Suzanne's best stunts was at a parent's evening, where she wilded up her hair "punk" style just to p*ss off the teachers and parents. These days it would take a lot more than a haircut to do that ...

Roland Browning - all together now: "I want to help you Ro-laaaaaand!" Erm, that was the phrase that one of Roland's fellow classmates, the nice and caring Janet St Clair, used to continually come out with when she realised he was being picked on by other pupils. Yes poor old Roly (a rather apt name given his somewhat wide girth) was a victim of bullying from the older school students, notably the nasty Gripper Stebson. A universal school situation that many of us unfortunately had to face at some point! Gripper and co were forcing Roland to give them money, otherwise they'd beat him up. It got to Roland so much in one episode, he walked out in front of some traffic and was knocked down. Fortunately Gripper and the bullies were sprung and the bullying stopped. Later Ro-land proved to be particularly adept at French and ended up dating some French bird, if memory serves correct ...

Samuel "Zammo" Maguire. Another lovable rogue in the Tucker mode who .... became a heroin addict!! Quite a daring move for Grange Hill in its day and this was definitely one its strongest storylines. Poor old Jackie, Zammo's adoring girlfriend didn't know how to handle him but was impressed when he apparently kicked the habit. Or had he? And of course who can forget the cheesey-as-hell anti-drugs record that was released in conjunction with this storyline, "Just Say No"?! Featuring all of the Grange Hill cast in various "tuneful" states of singing? And the accompanying video featuring the pupils a) trying not to laugh whilst miming to the lyrics b) bopping down the disco c) doing Kids from Fame style moves in leotards? And the intro bit with Zammo lecturing a potential smack addict is ... quality. Right, you've asked for it:



Aaaaaah ... memories are made of this. Perhaps.

The teachers

Mrs Bridget McCluskey (that's her above in the lovely diamond pattern sweater with lacy collars). She was Grange Hill's long standing headmistress from 1981-1991. Also known as Bridget the Midget. A firm but fair type in a matronly kind of way, well portrayed by Gwyneth Powell (now a bar lady in "Echo Beach", fact fans).

Mr Hopwood (above, standing next to Bridget). Woodwork teacher and good egg; a paternal sort. Considered handsome in his day, he was the object of several crushes by the girls, most notoriously Claire Scott, who ended up writing a diary chronicling her love (and lust?) for Mr H. And hands up if you know which serial killer actor Brian Capron went on to play in "Coronation Street"...?

Mr Bronson. "You Boy!" One of the most hated, feared teachers of all at the Hill, and consequently a bit of an icon. A French teacher and strict disciplinarian, he certainly made his mark. Pupils would do as they were told or suffer the wrath of Bronson. But he was also a huge figure of fun thanks to the Hitler-style toupee he wore. Mr B had a particularly tempestuous relationship with student Danny Kendall, but when Danny unexpectedly died we saw a sudden transformation in his character... The character was brilliantly played by Michael Sheard (a Dr Who stalwart having appeared in several stories). And I once saw him at a Dr Who convention, doing a Mr Bronson style send-up, dancing to "School's Out" with a load of p*ssed Who fans! Something I won't forget.

Of course there were many, many more characters (both pupils and teachers) who populated the corridors of Grange Hill but this (already long) post would become a novel-length one if I listed them all. So I hope you enjoyed that little trip down memory lane. RIP Grange Hill, you'll always be an integral part of my growing up and I won't forget you...

And what better way to round things off then the orginal Grange Hill theme and title sequence?! A great comic book pastiche that encapsulates all of the typical school "issues"! (And If you want to keep watching there's a bit of an episode to follow...)

Only one more thing to say: SAUSAGE!!!