Diary of an old cheeser

Hi there! Like other blogs, this is my chance to wax lyrical (some might say talk utter cr*p) about a) what's happening in my life b) all of my pet obsessions in particular music, tv, movies, books and other generally connected things, quite often of the retro, old and "cheesy" variety. Hence the title of my blog. Feel free to leave a comment if the mood takes you. There's nothing like a good chinwag about one's favourite topics and besides I love to meet new people! Cheers, Simon

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Joke for the day

This made me chortle - it's a little rude though ...

The 11th Husband:

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband 1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."

"Husband 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me."

"Husband 3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."

"Husband 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."

"Husband 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state- of-the-art method."

"Husband 6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not."

"Husband 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it."

"Husband 8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it."

"Husband 9 was a gynaecologist; all he did was look."

"Husband 10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was............(?) God, I miss him!"

"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"

"Wonderful," said the husband, "but, why?"

"You're with the Government.......This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed."


  • At 1:39 pm , Blogger Minge said...


    A little bird told me you collect stamps, you dirty mare!

  • At 5:37 pm , Blogger matty said...

    LOL! I always know I've read something funny because, if I am drinking water/diet coke (all I drink) I will have to cover my mouth to avoid spitting as I laugh.

    ...I read your post and had to clinch my lips to avoid doing that.

    ...and, then I read Minge's comment and I did spit my hot tea!

    I needed to start the day with a laugh!

    Thank you!!

    May I call you the, uh, Stamp Collector????

  • At 9:07 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Minge - I'm sorry, hen? Stamps??

    Matty - Good stuff! The more laughter inducing a joke, the better. And spitting your drink out must have been a sight to see.

    Okay, I'm being an airhead now...Is the joke that stamp collectors LICK things - is that what you naughty boys are driving at?? Tell me...I'm so dense...

  • At 1:53 am , Blogger matty said...

    Oh, Poor Baby -- I feel mean. Yes, we were just teasing that you might be gifted with the use of the organ that licks those stamps.

    Oh dear, I just explained a sort of dirty joke.

    It was all in good clean fun!

    well, sort of...

  • At 7:27 am , Blogger Steve said...

    Nice one! And as someone who works as a civil servant and therefore technically for the Government (oh the shame) I can vouch for the veracity of the punchline...!

  • At 1:43 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Matty - aha!! I thought it was to do with licking. Just what are you boys insinuating??!

    Steve - aha again! You have inside knowledge, as it were...


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