42 inches of pure pleasure

Greetings ladies and gents.

I'm BACK again. Sorry about the hiatus, but it's been a busy one, particularly with this business of starting a brand new job. And I'm pleased to report that side of things seems to be going well. The college is a very nice environment indeed (gosh for a supposed English teacher I really do need to come up with some more imaginative vocabulary), my new work colleagues have been welcoming, supportive and fun, there's loads of excellent resources in the college, including some very impressive IT packages they use for both teachers and staff and they also use interactive whiteboards which are ultra cool! The one thing I haven't actually done yet after being nearly there for nearly two weeks is TEACH! So far it's been mainly student enrolment and preparing lessons, schemes of work etc. I also managed to get out of having a tutor group which was a pretty good respite as apparently there's a lot of extra work involved in that (a colleague of mine described me as "jammy" which isn't too far from the truth!) I feel like I've had to assimilate enough as it is, so I can't say I'm sorry about that particular development. Anyway lessons proper start next Tuesday so fingers crossed ... I am feeling a touch nervous I will admit. Pray for me, good people of the Bloggersphere!

I had a nice (that insipid word again) time in Weston Super Mare, although I didn't do very much atall, just relax at our friends and eat, drink and watch TV. Watched Goldmember, the third Austin Powers movie, and realised it wasn't actually very funny. Watched Batman Begins (as a precursor for when I eventually get to see the much-praised Dark Knight) which was much better than Goldmember (well, they are rather different different kinds of movies, yeah ...) (And oddly enough, last night I watched the 1960s Batman movie, which was hilarious for all the wrong reasons ... )

Also took a walk on Weston's pier, which, despite the recent fire, is at least partially still intact. On the way I encountered some strangely familiar creatures ...

So that's what eating too many hot dogs and chips does to you in Weston ...

Oh My GOD!! The Dalek Invasion of Weston! Could the evil pepperpots be the ones responsible for the fire on the pier? Okay, that was a little bit tasteless ...

Proof that I ain't scared of no goddam Dalek. Mind you, the barrier between us does kind of help to allay that fear...

But look at the wreck at the end of the pier above ... sad eh. Still at least the whole thing didn't burn down.

I'm still carrying on with the driving lessons, although they haven't been that regular. I must step up their regularity as I don't want to get out of touch and want the driving thing to start feeling more natural and instinctive! I just feel SO scared about going on a big, open, busy road. Oh just DO IT Simone! Okay, okay, I will... And Gustavo and I have purchased a flat screen TV!! Just like the one above. Cost rather a lot but we went for one of those "Buy now, pay in 6 months time" deals, so it should be alright. I have to say in some respects I wasn't bothered about getting one before, but now I've definitely seen the light. It looks and sounds amazing. Like having a mini cinema in your home. And in our cathedral-sized lounge I now perceive that purchasing a 42 incher (as it were) was a definite necessity. Prisoner Cell Block H has never looked better...

Talking of which ... I just CAN'T resist telling you about the latest developments on the Wentworth front ...

Any vacancies for a moustached clone in a women's prisoner, governor? Oh. So Freddie Mercury's filled the post already ...

Male moustached Deputy governor and sex god Jim Fletcher has arrived at Wentworth, a seemingly odd, not to mention, rather bad-tempered and dysfunctional sort of chap. However we soon find that not only has he split from his wife, she's also denied him access to their kids PLUS he's still traumatised by his experiences while serving as a soldier in Vietnam, leading to lots of tortured soliloquies and downing endless whiskeys in bars. Poor bugger, as Lizzie would say. Unfortunately the ladies what lunch at Wentworth aren't too enamoured with Jimbo from the outset, branding him "Fletch the Letch" i.e. a bit of a perv in general. However as Mr F stays in the programme for at least another 200 episodes, I'd wager he has a bit more dramatic mileage in him yet.

Warder Meg is dating resident prison Dr and sex-god Greg Miller, and having to suffer various mocking comments from prison inmates and staff alike in the process, not to mention dirty looks from ex girlfriend Karen Travers. The sultry Ms Travers has now been allowed to go on day release to university, whilst being wooed by hot-shot lawyer and sex god Steve Wilson, but that doesn't really go anywhere ... then in classic "Prisoner" (if not soap opera) style Steve's character vanishes into thin air never to be mentioned again ... ho-hum.

Meanwhile Queen Bea is back inside having been dobbed in to the police by a devious teenage girl - played by one of actress Val Lehman's own daughters no less - hope that's not her REAL persona - the rotten biiiiiiiiiitch!!

Classy Clara Goddard has been shipped off to another prison and whiney and winsome Lynn Warner is finally about to released from Wentworth (again!), both departures causing Wentworth's dopey dumpling, Doreen, much distress. Dor doesn't have much self-esteem you see and tends to cling on to others for comfort and support ... she even tries to frame Lynn for stealing pills from the prison dispensary, in order that her release gets delayed and she stays in prison longer to keep her company ... silly girl.

No Doreen, I don't have any kiwi and cinnamon facial scrub. This is the best on offer, you sneak! You drongo!!

And when Lynn finds out she's none too happy and gives Doreen the mud-pack treatment (and we're not talking Body Shop style ... )

Home and Awaaaaaay ... with you each daaaaaay .... Alf? Where are you? Oh! So the actor who plays you turns up in Prisoner three times does he? Well, I never did!

And Ailsa from Home and Away has also turned up as an inmate, with a secret stash of cash that everyone wants to get their hands on!

JOY!!

Have a fabulous weekend and week after, my lovelies ...

OC xx