Diary of an old cheeser

Hi there! Like other blogs, this is my chance to wax lyrical (some might say talk utter cr*p) about a) what's happening in my life b) all of my pet obsessions in particular music, tv, movies, books and other generally connected things, quite often of the retro, old and "cheesy" variety. Hence the title of my blog. Feel free to leave a comment if the mood takes you. There's nothing like a good chinwag about one's favourite topics and besides I love to meet new people! Cheers, Simon

Saturday, January 20, 2007

La cochon departs!

So! If you haven't heard the good news by now you must have been vacationing on the Moon these last couple of days.

Yes, last night Jade Goody was evicted from the CBB house. There IS a God.

I wasn't at home last night and so didn't have the pleasure of watching CBB until today's repeat. However all day yesterday I was positively heavy with anticipation (as were most of my workmates) wondering who would be nomimated and finally ousted from the house. Yesterday was payday and we also received our bonuses (hooray!!) so going out to celebrate was a must. One of my workmates was staying in a hotel for the night and I did suggest we all went back to her room, turned on the TV to watch CBB and raid the mini-bar, however that plan didn't go down very well. Shame.

Anyway you can't spend every night in front of the TV can you? There is such a thing as socialising. As it happened we all had a really fun night and ended up in a very cheesey 80s club called Reflex. However on the way home with my hubbie, opportunity reared its head and I grilled a couple of passengers in the same tube carriage as to exactly who the CBB evictee was. And was promptly informed that Jade had been evicted!! Hoorrah!! This was to the extreme annoyance of a woman sat opposite me who hadn't watched BB yet and had been looking forward to finding out for herself. She gave me a real telling off for spoiling it. With a twinkle in her eye. I seem to remember Gustavo and I having a pretty involved conversation with her about Jade and the whole BB thing, however it's all rather hazy now as I was quite inebriated. I should add that I was also wearing a conical Madonna-style bra, glittery hat and pair of giant Elton John-style heart-shaped sunglasses, all purchased from Reflex, which gave me a somewhat unusual appearance. Someone even took a photo of me on their mobile. I'll probably end up in Monday's Metro as "Most Sartorially Dressed Tube Passenger on the Northern Line". I hope so.

Anyway, back to BB. Yes, a nation breathed a sigh of relief as Jade left. However, in the eleventh hour, the unthinkable happened. Ms Goody ACTUALLY APOLOGISED to Shilpa for her previous actions, saying that she hadn't meant to come across as racist or make Shilpa feel bad, etc etc. Far be it from me to be sound cynical, but just how genuine was this? For me, it didn't really wash. Just prior to speaking to Shilpa, BB invited Jade to the diary room and gave her a severe talking-to, recounting the racist comments she'd made and making it clear that further comments/behaviour were unacceptable. Tellingly, this was all before the final choice of evictee had been announced. And afterwards - guess what! Jade immediately went and made up with Shilpa. I'm really not sure how heartfelt all of this was. My personal opinion is that Jade realised (too late) the results of her actions and was trying to regain audience sympathy at the last minute, before she got voted out. She also revealed, earlier on, in the diary room that she was scared of rejection and the public turning against her. All of which surely had an impact on her actions. Okay, I'll be generous here. Perhaps La Cochon did feel a twinge of guilt for her behaviour. But on the whole this sudden about-turn didn't convince. The bottom line is, Jade was scared that she'd f*cked her image and career and was desperately trying to avoid any likelihood of that happening. (Not that her career was exactly blossoming to begin with. Shilpa's comment about Jade only being famous cos she'd been in the BB house had the total ring of truth. It's the ultimate irony therefore, that the BB house has both made and destroyed her. And compare Jade's "career" to Shilpa's. Shilpa is a highly successful actress, model and dancer, having appeared in nearly 50 Bollywood films. She's been nominated for film awards and is also an AIDs activist and PETA supporter. Since leaving BB for the first time, Jade has made a few fitness videos, appeared in gossip magazines and on tacky TV shows. Big wow).

So what of Jade's eviction? Very low-key and eerie, owing to the fact there was absolutely no public audience outside the BB house. Seeing Jade walk through the doors and down the steps in silence was very odd to watch. A wise and necessary move nevertheless, because of everything that had gone on before. The public perception of Ms Goody at the moment is far from...ahem...goody...and if any of the public had been present they probably would have skinned her alive. (And cooked her piggy flesh and served it up on a platter. I wouldn't have touched it though. She probably tastes worse than overcooked KFC).

Then came the obligatory post-eviction interview with Davina. Which was actually quite strong viewing and no-holds barred. Davina was pretty uncompromising and confrontational in her questions to Jade, asking her to justify what she'd said and done and grilling her about the bullying and treatment of Shilpa. She also showed Jade an array of clips of news reports re: the allegations of racism and bullying, hammering home even more the consequences of her actions. Go Davina!! Whilst saying how sorry she was again and again for what had happened, I wouldn't say Jade seemed altogether contrite.

Well, it will be interesting to see what happens to Ms Goody now. I say good riddance to her. I expect she'll be back on the tills at Quik Save before too long.


  • At 1:18 am , Blogger matty said...

    Congrats on the bonus!!!! What will you buy!?!? ...the best bonus I ever received was $500. So, I didn't buy much. I think I paid off a Visa bill.

    So, will the show be a bit dull without this fish woman to stir things up? Sure you won't be missing her?!?!? LOL!

    OK, now fess up --- and upload that picture of you! We know you have a copy! And, your readers want to see it!!!

  • At 4:26 am , Blogger TimeWarden said...

    I'm curious to see the piccie too! I presume you were wearing the bra on the outside, a la Madonna!!

    The critics seem to think this will only enhance Ms Goody's prospects, career wise, and if I'd known you could earn £8mill through being a total moron like her I needn't have bothered with education. Trouble is, I don't have a pair of t*ts to flash at prospective employers. I guess I don't like her then!!!

    I don't see why she should have police protection either. They don't afford it to other more deserving cases so let fate take its course. Throw her to the bad wolves!

    The most irritating thing this CBB was Leo's remark that he should be treated with respect because he is a celebrity! This implies, if you're not rich and famous, it doesn't matter how you're treated. Obviously not a believer in class equality then! His remark is actually more offensive then JG's name calling, even more so when you consider it was probably a thoughtless aside, as it attempts to suppress any person, and thus many groups of people, not in the public eye.

  • At 11:04 am , Blogger Minge said...

    Glad that the woman had a twinkle in her eye. She couldn't fail to have sitting opposite someone as outrageously dressed as you, hen!

    Jade's career is over now, hopefully. It's time we stopped celebrating idiots.

  • At 11:09 am , Blogger Minge said...

    Oh, please do a stuff on/in Bev Craven blog post and invite readers to suggest items. Please. Please. Please.

  • At 4:15 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Matty - thank you babes! Erm ... I have actually spent most of it already!! On my credit card!! Most of it when on a new wardrobe - some nice smart shirts, trousers, a couple of jackets, shoes ... mostly for work. Figured I wanted to smarten myself up and go for a new image for 2007. It's a cliche but when you look good, you feel good! Anyway one of the reasons I spent the money early was because I didn't want to miss all the good stuff in the post-Xmas sales. By the time we got round to getting paid a lot of the good stuff would have gone! That's my justification anyhow. So I have now paid off the majority of my credit card. What's left of the bonus will be going toward paying for a web design course, which I have applied for and really hope I get onto...fingers crossed!

    As for missing the fish woman I guess things will be quieter now in the BB house. But I'm sure the housemates will be happy that things have calmed down.

    Erm - well I can't upload the picture cos I don't have a copy! Some anonymous stranger took the shot of me and I will never seem them again! How about I dress up in the attire again and do my own mini photoshoot? Of course, yes, my readers will be sooo longing to see the results...

    Timewarden - You're curious too eh. Yes the bra was on the outside. Not quite up to Jean Paul Gaultier standards but gold and round nonetheless.

    £8 million?! Jesus. I agree, if we could all make that amount of money through having no inherent intelligence or talent, there'd be hope for all of us! If I were you, I'd get some breast implants right away, ha ha ha!

    You're right, why should she be singled out for police protection when other people need it too?

    And I see what you mean about Leo's comment. Kind of arrogant. The irony was that although he expected others to treat him well, he chucked his weight around quite a lot of the time and wasn't exactly polite or civil in his dealings with others. Unfortunately some people "at the top" do see themselves as a cut above and think they can lord it over others. It doesn't seem to occur to them that respect goes both ways.

    Minge - indeed. And au revoir la cochon!

    Ha ha ha! I might have known you would ask me to do a post like that. Of course I bet you're gonna say I owe you one, having made you put up a Torchwood: Hardcore petition. Erm...well I would love to do such a post but what if Bev happened upon my blog and saw it?? She'd be mortified! And my blog would be shut down!!

    Okay, I'm being a chicken licken now aren't I?

  • At 5:03 pm , Blogger Steve said...

    I'm half delirious with some virus... am now experiencing fever dreams involving conical bras, Beverley Craven and Jade Goodey... the overall combo would make a bloody great Channel 4 show... just need to get my head together to compose the synopsis before somebody else does...!

  • At 7:02 pm , Blogger matty said...

    Yes! Photo shot, please!

    New wardrobe! That's great!

  • At 10:20 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Steve - sorry you've been ill but I don't think that's a dream - that's reality! The combo of Bev, Jade and conical bras sounds positively delicious and I LOVE the idea of a Channel Four show encompassing all this! Get composing the synopsis NOW Steve! I'd quite like a hand in the writing too, actually!

    Jade is only allowed to participate on condition that she:
    a)oinks instead of speaks
    b)gets grunged / ritually humiliated at regular intervals.

    Matty - I will have to set up a photo shoot. Soon.

    And yes, its lovely to have some new clothes...

  • At 5:59 pm , Blogger Minge said...

    Yes! I might do it myself.

  • At 12:41 pm , Blogger Old Cheeser said...

    Okeydokes! We can all club together and write a breakdown for a show then. And with our combined intellects / filthy minds it's BOUND to be a winner.


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